Too Late
by Tay91
Summary: In looking for you I lost who was still back home Sequel to Scars *must read first* Death, angst, hopelessness. Rated T for the feeling of despair!


He was back again. Back at this dreadful place, staring at the iron clad gates. The wind continued to howl around the area whipping at the branches of the trees, and the unsuspecting woman's hair. The place had a haunting air about it, regardless if it is a cemetery. The huge black gates would creak with every move in the wind while wildlife would avoid it like the plague.

Everyone was gathered again, everyone from the tribe, everyone that had ever known the Uley family.

Past tense. That's all he ever uses now, or that's how it seems at least. Today the minister stood in front of a row of three coffins conducting yet again another ceremony. Jacob stands at the back of the concession as usual, wow that's bad saying as usual, while everyone else pretended to mourn for a family they didn't really know.

Reminiscing back Jacob thinks how truly shit his life has become. There must be someone up there that hates him. Obviously it wasn't enough to see Seth die, lose the woman he loves, find both his Dad and Sue Clearwater's bodies! No fate had to work it so he was the one to not only find the scene from a horror flick but witness it.

As he was wondering wolf waiting for her to return, if she would return, he heard a sudden squeak followed by the sound of rubber being ripped along an old road. Whipping his head over his shoulder Jacob watches as the Uley family car crashes head on with an 18 wheeler truck, fall force. Of corse it goes without saying that the three coffins the minister has just lowered Into the earth are that of Sam, Emily and Mark Uley.

Bodies are stacking up everywhere he looks. Including that sick fuck that just drive his truck away, he took pleasure in that 'animal attack'. He almost wishes for the relief of death for himself. Almost. If the moment came where he found out Leah is dead it would immediately be followed with the moment of his own. That is the reason he hasn't pushed the knife he now holds in his right hand too deep.

He dreams of watching the deep red liquid flow from his body taking the heat with it. He dreams of the sleepy, weightless feeling before he surcomes to the darkness one last time. He dreams of the end. Of the end of the pain, the loss, the torment, the nothingness. That's the worst, the nothingness! He feels nothing but empty and hollow. Even if he did find her he's not sure if he is capable of feeling happy or joyous like he should. No he's sure he can't feel, won't feel.

Days pass by in a blur to him. Watching everyone else live out their lives, all happy families and White picket fences is not only boring him but infuriating him! Watching all the tribe members move on and forget the last tragedy, letting it fall into a statistic made him so angry he could taste the metallic tang in his mouth from literally biting his tongue.

Nobody morned any more, nobody cared anymore. He knew he should move on, he had too to survive, but he couldn't do it. Everything was on a constant replay in his head. Any noise would set him off, the sound of a passing car, the ticking of a clock was all it took and he was back there in every moment.

He knew this day would come. Leah or no Leah, it was too much now. Way too much. After eighteen years of waiting and searching the world for the woman he loved he forgot about the people around him.

He forgot about his Dad, Seth, Sue and the Uley's all of whom are gone. Never coming back. He might as well of killed them by his own hand. He can't take another moment of this! Placing the blade back to him left wrist he digs it deeper and deeper as a precaution just incase all the pills didn't work.

It did work.

Soon he felt the heat leaving his body with every blood cell that slipped through his veins on to the soaked kitchen floor. It was kind of old fashioned to die in the very place he was born, the very spot even. If only he could care, but he can't.

Now She is standing staring at the words:

"A beloved, loyal Son, Brother and Alpha." etched onto the solid stone marking the place he now lays. He's gone and she was too late. He searched for her, but you can only find someone who wants to be found. Now she must live out the remainder of her days knowing she killed not only Jacob but also Sue and Billy.

She understood his pain and scars. She is scared just the same. She believes herself to be the only wolf immune to vampire venom, if only she knew. Standing, facing the headstone that torments her very pitiful existence she feels all the emotions for her alpha returning. The only reason she stayed hidden was to save herself.

She caught up to that vampire that dared not only lay a finger on her younger brother but to drain his body of all life and blood. She made sure it suffered as she saw fit, but she suffered too. She didn't realise it was a Cullen. And the Cullen clan look after one another. The Cullen clan torchered her until she begged for death only to be let free.

She hid from Jacob to save herself the looks of pity, and disgust she was sure his beautiful face would contain. She couldn't, Wouldn't see the man she truly loved look at her through the eyes of an enemy. she had to protect her already damaged heart, but in doing so she distroyed it beyond repair.

She now had to add a shattered heart to the long list of physical scars housed upon her body. The broken heart was added to an extensive list: claw and teeth marks littered her neck and torso, so thickly that her skin resembled that of the Cullen worrior. The Cullen worrier that now, thanks to her, was burnt to a crisp. All her bones had been broken repeatedly, leaving her right leg damaged beyond use.

The trail she walked to the headstone could be easily tracked on account of her failed leg dragging usesly behind her every step of the way. She is home now, even if it is too late she is with the man she loves.

Her right hand tightly encases the large White note. The last thing she knows he did, his suicide note. Just incase.

She always knew he wouldn't give up on her, not him, Jacob wouldn't.

Leah,

I remember the first day I went to your house as if it was yesterday. Seeing you, Seth and your parents arguing over the channel as if you where the most normal family in the world. If only that was true. If only any of us was normal.

I remember the fishing trips, the Lego games, colouring books, beach trips. I remember them all. My first day of school wasn't as scary as it should have, why would it be I had you there. Hell I always had you there, at home, at school, the beach, the store. Anywhere I needed you, you'd be there. I'm just sorry it's took me this long to see it. Your loyal.

Honestly the best memories I posses all have you in them somehow. At the beach with my mom, climbing the trees with Embry and even mom's funeral. I know I still wonder about my sanity when mom's funeral is on the list of best memories!

It was right at the end when you walked all the way home with me and suggested I open a garage when I'm older. "So you can fix cars and no one else will have to feel like this again."

That was what I planned to do, open my own garage to fix cars at a cheap rate so people like my mom who couldn't afford to have it checked would be spared the horrific end she had. But how could I without you there to help me, my friend, my teacher, my first crush.

That's right, I never told you. I used to have the biggest crush on you ever. Remember the note book he gave you for your seventeenth birthday? Of corse you do, I bet you still have it. He forgot your birthday that year, not surprised, and he took my gift to give to you. I know you never used the whole book if you ever did at all, I would have know if you reached the last page.

I need you to know, if your still alive, that I searched. I searched around the god-damn world for over ten years. Ten fucking years and nothing, not a hair! But I know your out there, I feel it, I feel your alive. I gave up you know. Of corse you know, you where most likely watching me the whole time. I just couldn't do it any more, the constant roaming was too much. In looking for you I lost who was still back home.

When I returned it was as if you never existed, as if Seth never did. I still visit the cemetery every day to see him, I used to talk to him but I can't. I don't have the energy in me any more. After our parents went I lost the will to live completely, god knows how I'm still here, on your bed. Oh yeah sorry I broke in, I'm sure you won't mind.

It's just too much. I can't live with the misery, heartbreak, raw anger. You know, in some ways I hate you so damn much. You never came home, never called, text, wrote a letter. Nothing. I have spent the last year burying Billy, Sue, Emily, Him, and their son. I done it all alone without you. I hope you know how much we hurt our parents, how we killed them.

I know I should be crying as I write this but I can't, I have no tears left, no energy to even cry! How fucked does that make me. I just needed you to know what going on in my head.

Please remember: You can out-distance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you.

I'll love you forever Lee.

Jake

If corse she checked her desk, removed the large black note book, and there in his writing again a message:

Happy birthday Lee, I love you, Jake xxx

It felt like a hole was being punched through her chest as she sobbed, cried and wailed for the man she never gave a chance, the man she always loved and took for granted.

She will forever be standing in this dreadful place, with the creaking gates staring down at the place the only man she ever really loved now lays. It's all her own fault. She's too late.


End file.
